It seems to have been a strange old month. I’ve been happy with what I have achieved so far, especially that I’ve worked through ‘working out whilst working’, but the last 2 weeks have sprung up a few problems.
The first was expected- knee twinges. Easy fix: lay off the running for a bit, do more strength work.
The second is slightly more problematic: my diet changes had been helping a lot in combating the ‘brain-fog’ and fatigue I’ve had in the past, but in the last few weeks it’s been coming back and worse than ever- one night of uncontrollable tears, another of hugging the toilet bowl with waves of nausea. All the usual tests have been done- nothing out of the ordinary. I suspect the trouble is in my mind- my poor, over-thinking mind. You see, having sat down with the feelings- as my mother would, in her mindful way- I have come to notice a trend that despite ENJOYING my workouts (usually..!) and feeling great about myself and the improvements to my body, mind and overall outlook, it seems that it is the thought of an impending training session- or just thinking of one I was due at some point later in the day, was beginning to fill me with a- sometimes physically incapacitating- feeling of panic and anxiety.
I worried that I was starting to exhibit some sort of control dependency- worrying that I would not be able to fit exercise around work schedules, freaking out about what the consequences would be if I had an unscheduled rest day, etc- so, further from the cut back on running, I imposed one week of ‘yoga only’. For all the amazing physical results I’m seeing and feeling from my training schedule, I deemed it ‘not worth it’ if I’m going to end up with a new source of stress.
So here I am, now at the end of my yoga week and…the world has not ended and I have not even gained a single pound- although am definitely feeling SLIGHTLY less strong, and I still have the same old brain fog. Second theory- since returning to my parent’s house from my home in Whistler, my good intentions for my diet have become more of a reality. I know from past research into various detox’s that usually ‘you will feel worse before you get better’. Unfortunately I am the type to reach for the biscuits in a time of stress, thereby setting myself right back at the beginning of the cycle. The fix here is a no-brainer: this time, don’t cave- push through. This time: DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT.